2018 Year End Review: The Year of Giving Birth, Transitions and Gratitude

I Am American

We have come to the end of the road.  Well at least the road that the Roman calendar leads us down year after year.  The longer I live the more I realize how false that road is cuz the wheel keeps turning. There really is no end, until it’s over if you know what I mean, but even then do we really know that that’s the end? This year came with these huge questions. Big beginnings, tragic transitions, continuous continuations and ch-ch-ch-ch-changes.  Twenty-eighteen felt so long and yet here we are at the last day of December once again looking out onto what 2019 will hold.  Daily it felt like a Space Odyssey or better yet a Space Oddity as our brother Bowie made so plain.  Now here we are at the end so that's where I will start. 

In October I was in one of the biggest pushes of my life, giving birth to my album, I Am American. The birth did not quite go as planned, but the baby is healthy and everyone is alive!  The labor was long. There were Braxton Hicks contractions that started years ago. Lot's of rushing to the water only to be sent back home, but in August the labor started for real and in October the pushing began in earnest.  I was on a roll, labor was going well and then things started happening around me.

On October 24th, I lost another (the first two in March & May respectively) dear sister friend, Sally Hyppolite, to cancer. Then on the same day one of my mentors, guitar legend Wah Wah Watson, also passed.  I hadn’t spoken to him in a while and that left me as devastated as losing my sister who I had recently seen.  

Side Note: As far as how I know Wah Wah Watson, let's just say if I had the loot at the time we met, he would have come to London to play with me.  He never played with the band, but we did stay in touch, I did visit him at his home, and he was a mentor.  It's a long story, but one I will share one day.

I couldn’t stay in that sad space because I was in labor and the contractions were coming faster and with more strength. 

In the midst of labor I had to take a trip to San Francisco with my Burnt Sugar Arkestra fam to play at San Francisco State University and to do a talk at Stanford. On October 27th, the day before we left for the Bay, Ntozake Shange passed. I had only met her once, but I have known her in my heart and spirit all my life.  Every colored girl who has ever touched the stage or written a poem or searched for the deeper meaning of what is to be and feel the joy and pain of being a dark girl, knows Ntozake. She was our virtual auntie, tia, sista girlfriend, lover, mother, she was everything and all things and she had moved on right as I was heading to the Bay where it all began for her. 

I reached the west side doing my best not to let my shock reach the surface and then on the 30th we lost vocal powerhouse/songwriter Beverly McClellen to cancer.  I had also only met Beverly once when we performed together at Michfest in 2015, but I was so inspired by her when she competed on the first season of The Voice and ripped the house down in the blind auditions singing Janis Joplin’s “Piece of My Heart.” The bald, t-shirt, boots and jeans Amazon hit the stage with so much truth it was undeniable. When I saw that she was going to be playing at Fest I knew I had to sing with her and by some miracle we did.  We jammed out Stevie Nicks and Tom Petty’s classic “Stop Draggin’ My Heart Around" and it was amazing! We had so much fun.  Big love hugs to my sister and drummer Jyn Yates who toured with Beverly and in losing her lost a best friend.  Beverly was a force! I stopped momentarily to breathe for Beverly, but I labored on.

We made it back from the Bay and then on Nov. 2nd I got my last bit of year end transition news; trumpeter, composer, Roy Hargrove had left the building.  I like so many others was not prepared for that.  Those who knew him, knew he struggled with health challenges and had been on dialysis for many years, but he was forever in our eyes that young lion who blasted on the scene in the 90's and took over the jazz world. Roy was a big part of my pre- and early- New York life.  

Side Note: How do I know Roy Hargrove? Well let's just say we first met in Columbus, OH when I was in college and then some years later he impromptu played piano (let that sink in) for me one night at Small's Jazz Club in the Village. I was shocked and humbled. I will share that story for you one day as well. Magic.

So all this was happening while I was in active labor. I couldn’t stop the momentum at that point and on Saturday, November 3rd I started crowning.  The little head started showing as we took the stage at the Brooklyn Museum for First Saturdays in celebration of the “Soul of Nation” exhibition.  The crowd was with us and it was a glorious night. I read from “For Colored Girls…” and called for “somebody/anybody, sing a black girls song.” So we sang a song for my sisters and we also premiered the music video for “Punanny Politixxx.” There was no stopping now. The labor continued.

November 4th, the head was out and the shoulders were trying to make their way though.  I held a listening gathering at Peace & Riot for a select few fam and friends. It was a wonderful time and I was so glad that more people got to hear my baby in the womb before she was all the way out.  We drank, ate, laughed and had an all-around good time.  It takes a village and give thanks that me and my baby have a huge community.  

November 5th, the shoulders were out so I made my way to Roulette to perform with Darius Jones and friends in “For the People,” an avant-garde, get out the vote performance.  It was beyond deep. Deeper than I even imagined it would be.  All the performers were given a set of cues that we had to musically interpret so to speak.  Sometimes I was called to make the sounds of a slave woman who was having her baby cut out of her  at she was tied upside down or...well... what else needs to be said after that?! I did two pieces with the latter being called “Law and Order.” After such a long labor this was the final push that I needed.

Finally, on November 6th at midnight my baby, I Am American, was born. Later that morning I got up from my laboring bed and took myself to vote.  I came home and rested for a bit because later that night I took myself to see Living Colour and Fishbone at Brooklyn Bowl. 

My brotha, producer, friend, Vernon Reid

November 7th, was my b’earthday. The baby was out and I was exhausted. My mom came to town and treated me to old lady dinner. I call it “old lady” cuz we ate at 4pm. It was the early, early bird special.  We went for dessert at what should have been dinner time, did some quick and I mean quick shopping cuz I was beat and then went home and talked and chilled for the rest of the night. It was a quiet b’earthday, but just what I needed after all of that.

The next day my mom went home and then I started to notice my body.  Not only was I exhausted, but I was having numbness or dull tingling in my left finger, shoulder and leg. Then sometimes it would move to the right side.  I just thought it would subside and sometimes it did. Some days were better than others, but it never really went away.

By Thanksgiving I was sort of in a panic because it wasn’t subsiding. My blood pressure was fine, but I found a community acupuncture spot near my mom, which helped me get through till I got back to New York.  I really didn’t know what was up.  Back in New York, I went to see my friend who is an acupuncturist and told her what was going on. After talking for a while she says, “It sounds like grief. Have you lost anyone lately?” I was quick to say, “No I haven’t lost…” and then I stopped. OMG, I had lost! What was I talking about? Because I was in labor I hadn’t had time to properly mourn any of those five losses that happened damn near in the span of less than two weeks. I couldn’t stop the push and now here I was in grief. The numbness and out of the blue sadness. Grief.  She needled me and I rested and I started to feel. I can’t quite say better, but I just started to feel…something. 

So here we are at the end and I’m trying to wrap my head around the beginning.  Earlier this month someone reminded me that I played at the Apollo Theater this year. That was THIS YEAR! I played Lincoln Center (two times!), I released the single “Punanny Politixxx,” I performed with Meshell N’dgeocello. I played at the Brooklyn Museum (two times!), I performed on B-Side on BRIC TV, I was on the Sweet Spot radio show (two times!), I sang with Climbing Poetree, I hosted the sweat lodge, was a featured artists with the Resistance Revival Chorus, I performed the Sparkle Soundtrack with my Black Rock Coalition fam and also…

…I lost my dear  brother Buddy Cooper and my dear sister and friend Dumeha Vernice Thompson, both to cancer. Breathe… Feel….Carry on…kinda…

We shot the video for “Punanny Politixxx,” co-hosted a yoga retreat in Carriacou, was featured guest again with the Resistance Revival Chorus and then…the Life Celebration for Dumeha…Dance…Breathe…Feel…Carry on…kinda…

…I started Momentum Education (ask me about it) and declared my album would be out on Nov. 6th, played TAMAfest, celebrated Black Women in Rock & Punk at Afropunk and shared the stage with Angela Davis and Nona Hendryx (sit with that), performed in the play, “The Dark Girl Chronicles” at Colgate University, beamed as my baby cousin got married on the Vineyard, Rocked Restoration in honor of Aretha Franklin and now we are back to where we first found our shero, at San Francisco State. What a year.  

Afropunk

2018 was so wonderful. I mean gosh, look at all that went down. I met and performed with Angela Davis for Christ sake! My year could have stopped right there and I would have been golden.  But it was also laced with sadness on many levels, some I have shared here and some I have not, but there have been things that have rocked me to my core and sometimes I find myself still rockin’, looking for answers, trying to understand. The older I get the more I know that every year is this way. Every year has its ups and downs. Some years have more ups than downs and vice versa, but this year for me felt wildly up and wildly down.  So many things that I thought I was done with came back to the surface and I had to work through the pieces that I had pushed to the recesses of my heart, mind and spirit.  “You can’t hide from yourself/everywhere you go/there you are.” That’s what Teddy P. said and he was 100% correct.  You can lie to get by, but the truth will all rear its head and you will have to face her one day, way, or another.

I refuse to take this junk with me into the next turn of the sun.  The winter is about dreaming in the dark so I am about this business of letting go and creating a big life for myself. One with so much LOVE, joy, fun, sex, laughter, cuddles, kisses, travel, health, food, wealth, friends and family that no matter what comes around the corner to try and rock me, I will be solid in love from the inside and out.

I kept a gratitude journal all year and I will continue that practice into the next and the next.  I am in deep gratitude for all the things and people that showed up in my life this year. Whether friend or frenemy, I thank you.  You came in for a reason, thank you, but in 2019 I’m gonna have to usher some of ya’ll out! Ha! But I know that the only way to move through is to understand that there are lessons in the challenging spaces. We just have to be open to receiving them so we can step into to our greatness.  I am stepping into mine and I see you stepping as well, into the light.  The past is gone just as quickly as you read this post.  The only thing we have is NOW and that's where the power is.  I dare you to be present in it. 

Happy New Year! Let’s get this _________________ !

(you fill in your dream)

Happy New Year! 

Shelley Nicole's blaKbüshe Wants You!! Join Our "Punanny Politixxx" Campaign! No Money Required!

Happy New Year!

We hope this email finds you well. I’m reaching out on behalf of the amazing vocalist and songwriter, Shelley Nicole. We are excited to share that her band Shelley Nicole’s blaKbüshe will be releasing their third album I Am American in the early spring!

The lead single on the project is “Punanny Politixxx” which speaks to the overreaching hands of the government trying their best to dictate the who, what, when, where and how of women’s bodies and our reproductive rights.  In an effort to shed light on this seemingly never-ending intrusion we are reaching out to women in our circle to contribute to our “Punanny Politixxx” social media campaign.  

We are creating text boxes, picture boxes and short videos that will share quotes/experiences from well-known women and those in our sister circles illustrating a number of scenarios that we face daily in this world currently dominated by patriarchy. We will use these boxes to outline the daily “Punnany Politixxx” that we face, but this is not a pity party! We would also like to hear what brings you strength and your achievements against the odds? Do you have a personal mantra that keeps you going? What do you believe in? What is your truth?

Examples of anecdotes include:

• Personal or shared instances of sexist comments…
• Ex. Hey miss, are you open for business?
• Things overheard in the streets / at work / in a bar, etc.
• Say that one more time, and I’ll….
• Any antiquated sayings that have lingered…
• Ex. A woman’s place is in the kitchen.
• What are your mantras? Any phrase that gives you strength?
• Ex. I am blessed and highly favored.
• What do you stand for?
• Ex. All women should have the right to choose!

Anecdotes should be short and concise. Please no long experiential essays. While it is important to share your fullest experience remember that this will be shared mostly on Instagram and Twitter so space is limited. Please keep it to a phrase or 2-3 sentences tops. If you choose to share a video please no longer than 1 minute.  Thank You!

With your permission, it is our hope to share all or excerpts of what we receive in the lead-up to the release of “Punanny Politixxx” in the coming weeks. If you would like to participate please reply to teamblakbushe @ gmail.com with:

• Your Full Name
• Personal Anecdote(s) (please only give 2 max)
• If it is okay to include your full name, first name only, first name/last initial, first initial/last name or only initials in our post. If none of those options work, but you would still like to share we will attribute the quote you submit as “anonymous.”

Of course we will inform you when your post is LIVE!  We have attached a link below to a live video of the song in case you would like to hear it. If you choose to participate we will also send you the studio version of the song to be released as a THANK YOU! In the spirit of community, if you think of anyone else that you think would like to participate, please do forward this email. Also check out the @teamblakbushe Instagram account for examples and FOLLOW US!

Thank You So Much! We are looking forward to your responses!

Big thanks,

Nzingha 

Marketing Assistant

teamblakbushe@gmail.com

"Punanny Politixxx" Video

(Tiny Desk Contest)

Michfest 40: The end is a Beginning... (Final Thoughts)

Post Script: Acceptance? Not so sure...
We are now into 2016 and I’m not sure I have reached acceptance. Before we left there were many conspiracy theories about how Fest would continue or how the torch would be passed and I honestly was hopeful. Very Hopeful.  Maybe it was all part of the denial that lives in my bones, but again, now, not so much.  I have heard a lot of things through the fern gully, but I won’t get into all the theories and rumors and second hand accounts passed my way, but I will say this.

I know that around February or March I am probably going to feel really sad. I already had a moment in Nov. 1st when the artist submission deadline came and went and there was no place to submit and usually around May I start to really feel the weight of the world, but it is then that I go to that place called “August is Coming.” I knew that no matter what life dropped on me there would be a week. One week where I could shed all that outside business and just be. Yes it was work, but it was some of the best work I’ve done in my life both inside myself and on stage. The women who saw my shows at Michfest, saw something very, very special.

What shall we do this first week in August this year? What shall we do? There have been many suggestions thrown out there and I know there are some plots and plans brewing in the minds of many women so I’ll be here waiting for the signal to go up. In spite of my sadness, I know that the loss of Fest will surely open doors for all of us. It will allow us to do something else with that block of time that maybe we would have never done if Fest hadn't ended. This end has forced us, or at least me, to rethink how I connect with friends and family day to day. No longer can we take for granted that we’ll see each other in one space like that again.

Post-Fest armband flow

I have a lot of friends who go to Burning Man and when Michfest was closing they couldn’t believe it. “No way!” they said. “Way,” I said. I told them and I’ll say it again, do not take your community gatherings for granted. Do Not! I have mourned the loss of community before and it sucks! Do not assume they will be there forever. The only thing constant in this world is change. Make no assumptions about what will be. Hug and kiss your friends and family. Love them up and make it count. We are in a strange time, tied to devices that lead us to believe that we are connected when we are not. I say this to you as much as I say it to myself, do not take for granted that you have time to see people. If you feel like you need to see someone or talk to them do it now. Do not wait. Do not wait.

My heart breaks for the loss of this community gathering. As I write this I am a little teary. I never expected my heart to feel this way. I never could have imagined what would happen to me on that land. Never could have imagined.

There are so many names that I did not call in these blog posts, not because I didn't meet you and hug you and care for you, but because if I start to write MY whole story of the Michigan Womyn's Music Festival I will surely have a short memoir on my hands. Although I went to 9 festivals there were so many things I never saw or experienced on the land. Every year I would say, "I'm going to attend __________ workshop," but I would or could never make it due to my own busy schedule. Well, I made it to a couple and even taught one, but really I missed a lot.  In fact this past Fest was the first time I saw Fairlyland.  The first time and it was amazing! I know as you read my story you have many, many stories of your own. Tell your story.

I am blessed to be part of an artistic and activist community that grew out of the dirt.  I am so thankful to have this experience in the record of my life.  I am so thankful to Hanifah for inviting me into this circle. I am thankful to Cassandra for casting my breasts. I am thankful to Lisa and Terri Lynn for saying yes to blaKbüshe and all the women who made up the ladies contingent of my band through the years (Julie: keys, Vicki: percussion/vox, Alex: guitar, Ganessa: bass, Ki Ki: vox, Achuziam: vox, Viva: guitar, Pamela: guitar, LaFrae: drums, Lucianna: drums, Christelle: percussion, Maritri: vox, Tiffany: vox, Cathleen: sign interpreter, Kelly Horrigan: design, styling & makeup, Micah: styling & design, Shelly: styling & makeup and Gaetano: styling & design). I am thankful to the craftswomen who carried their goods to the woods. I am thankful for Susan and Golden Rod for believing in women's music. I am thankful for all the hands the built that city year after year from scratch only to break it all down and store it away for the next year.  I am thankful to all the hands that cooked food and all the healers that laid hands.  I am thankful to Amoja, Martha, Pat and all the women of color who created and maintained the WOC tent. I am thankful for Shirley and the sweat lodge and how the spirits moved me to bring that ceremony to Brooklyn. I am thankful for every hand on deck that made that joint happened.  I am in gratitude more then words can express.

Damn you Lisa Vogel! Thank you Lisa Vogel. Thank you, all the women who I met in person or who met me through my music on that land. Because of you I am changed and I will never stop standing for women. Give Thanks! 

Without whom...

C'mon Everybody Residency: The magic that is Akie Bermiss!

We had such an amazing time at C’mon Everybody last month! I was so excited to share the stage with my musical baby daddy #3 Akie Bermiss! We sang a few duets that night and of them was “Love All the Hurt Away.” Aretha Franklin and George Benson originally sang the song, and I first heard it when I was about eleven years old. Long time ago for sure! Here is just short clip of the song. I wish I had the whole song for you, but alas. So enjoy this taste and a few photos. Yes I had a costume change! 

 

"Love All the Hurt Away"

Akie!!! A man who still believes in love. *swoon*

First outfit for the Slow Jam section

Second outfit for the "Kick you in your neck" section!

Who me?

Join us on October 16th when my sister in Rock ‘n Roll, my soul sister, my sister serving the big hair and my Michfest sister, Mishti will be my special guest!

See You Next Week!

Photos by Daryl Tillman & Mechelle Rayford

Thank you!!!

My Top 13 of 2013: For those with a short attention span!

As you know I always write a stupid long Year End Review, but for those of you who have lost your desire to read I have compiled My Top 13 of 2013.  So check it out and if you are curious about more you and always check out the entire 2013 Year End Review: Musicga!  Thank you for sharing the year with me. Big things ahead!

love,
Shelley

My Top 13 of 2013

1. I wrote over 356 Haikus! (I will post some soon!)

2. Attuned two more students to Reiki!

3. Was featured on the Sony Christmas R&B Hits Compilation.

4. Rocked Michfest with my rendition of "Invincible" by Pat Benatar.

5. Played Mamapalooza and Pussypaolooza.

6. Hosted two blaKbüshe Wellness Days.

7. Shot a video with Rebellum for "Heart Seed."

8. Taught lots of yoga and hosted a yoga workshop/show with M'Balia (MB) in Philadelphia.

9. Wrote and directed my first comedy sketch with American Candy.

10. Was part of the "Medusa/Asudem" video with Kelly Horrigan and Lee Free.

11. Played at BAM Café two times (blaKbüshe and American Candy).

12. Debuted Phellatio Gonzalez feat. Jeff Jeudy, Jerome Jordan, V. Jeffery Smith, Matsu, Akie Bermiss, Sharief Hobley, Shawn Banks and special guest Garrett Shider, Jr.

13. "blaK Girls" is featured in the independent film Homecoming directed by Eugene Ashe.

Click HERE to Read the full 
2013 Year End Review: Musicga!

2013 Year End Review: Musicga

Year End Review 2013: Musicga

Often when I come to the end of the year I can’t believe that it has gone by so fast, but I actually feel like 2013 took its time. A lot of things happened in 2013 for sure. As you know, I graduated from Kripalu in 2012 so 2013 was all about getting my yoga teaching going. So without further ado here is my 2013 Year End Review:  Musicga (Music & Yoga)!

January
I kicked off the month writing my first Haiku of the year. I gave myself a Haiku a day challenge, which turned out to be lots of fun and insightful to say the least. I will post them all on my blog so you can see them ASAP!

I began the year teaching at Shambhala Yoga & Dance Center and Hip Dhamma. I also started taking aerial class with my girl Kiebpoli aka Black Acrobat, which was amazing! If you are thinking about trying it out I highly recommend her. That lasted through May, but I really hope to be able to get back! The rope and silks are no joke. The power involved in making that look effortless is not a game. I had so much fun!

This month I also played with Burnt Sugar at the Million Man Mosh. It was a great night to raise money for Donovan Drayton who was battling for his freedom. Donovan was in the house that night and I’m happy to report that he has been cleared of all charges! Give Thanks! That night we had the pleasure of sharing the bill with 24-7 Spyz, Nona Hendrix, Living Colour and Ronny Drayton. Also Big Mike from the Sugar Hill Gang and Melle Mel from the Furious Five were in the house and graced the stage as well.

At the close of the month I stared to feel a little under the weather, but I had no time to be sick because Burnt Sugar was heading to Paris on the 31st. So I boarded a plane to Paris with one of the worst head colds I’ve had in my life. Before we all got to the airport we found out that our original flight had been cancelled and our new flight was moved up! Not cool! Well, we all made it, but I was not looking forward to that flight with the head cold. My saving grace was that the flight was empty so at least I could spread out and really lay down. Next stop, Paris!

February
Although I spent most of the Paris trip in bed trying to get myself together to perform, it turned out to be really fun time. The only downside was the Gestapo at Heathrow that took my coconut oil when we had to change planes in London. So the only thing I did in Paris besides, eat, sleep, soak and sing was get some lotion! Anyway, for the show we did the Steely Dan Songbook conducted by Vernon Reid and a few Bowie tunes conducted by Mikel. Thank Goddess I was able to pull it together and give the best show I could give. [Blog: Next Stop Paris! ]. We didn’t get to stay in Paris this time as long as we did last so there was no sightseeing for me, but I’m still so thankful for the time spent there. I love traveling with the Sugars!

This month I began teaching yoga to the kids at Little Sun People a pre-school where a lot of my friend’s children attend. That went on through May and was a great experience.

I rounded out February by attuning my fourth student to Reiki! That is something that I’m going to do much more of in 2014. Congrats to my girl Po-Hong on becoming a Reiki I practitioner. It makes me feel go great to be able to teach people this healing tool. It’s such a blessing.

March
Looking back at this month, a whole lot happened. I went to Buffalo and Canada with Burnt Sugar. That was really an amazing trip and one of the best parts was finding Betty’s restaurant. That food was amazing! We are still talking about that food and how we can get Betty’s downstate.

Early in the month blaKbüshe played at Mamapalooza, which was my friend Rick’s 50th b’earthday party. We did the show as a 4-piece so Matsu, Jeff, Ganessa and I hit it. The place was packed and we had a blast. We made a few blaKbüshe converts that night and we also met another Jeff who would be instrumental down the line. Jeff James, a friend or Rick’s, works at Sony. That night he asked me if I had any holiday music and as you may or may not know, the answer to that is yes! If you recall I made a holiday album for my mom a few years ago, so I have music. He asked me to send him a couple of things because he was putting together Sony’s holiday compilation. I sent the tracks, but I have to admit that I didn’t think anything would come of it. Silly me.

We played Mamapalooza on the 11th and then played BAM Café on the 16th. It was another packed house at BAM and we had a lot of fun as usual. I tried out a new song that night and it seemed to go over well. Win or lose it’s great to have the audience feedback. [Blog: BAM Café Show Recap]. I really live for that!

April
I think the highlight of April, which has nothing to do with music, is that I got my stuff out of storage. That was nothing short of a spring miracle. I am so glad not all that stuff in my life anymore. I kept much of it, but I also did a huge book and magazine giveaway. It felt so good to lighten my load. Try it!

This month I also started recording the Rebellum project with Greg Tate at Luqman’s studio in Harlem. At the time I thought it was another Burnt Sugar project, but I later found out differently. I now it must sound strange that I didn’t know the project I was recording, but many of the same people in Burnt Sugar are in Rebellum and at that time I’m no sure the new band had a name yet. When you are rolling with this crew you just have to be open to the changes. LOL!

May
This was a pretty big month. I had my first blaKbüshe Wellness Day on the 19th. Thanks to Po-Hong, my partner in Scorpionic magic, it was a great success. My mom and aunt Helen also took the drive down from MA to support and my cousin Ashley and his girlfriend Emilie came though. It was a rainy day in Brooklyn. So rainy that they even cancelled one of the days of the Great GoogaMooga concert in Prospect Park. But a little rain didn’t stop our show. It was beautiful day.

Po-Hong & I! Scorpio Power!

Earlier in the year my girl Nucomme asked me if I wanted to play at the Williamsburg Music Center. When I agreed it was going to do a blaKbüshe show, but Ganessa couldn’t make the date. So instead of cancelling it I had another idea. I have so many wonderful men in my life that I thought it would be great to play with all of them, or as many as possible, in one night! So I called on Jeff Jeudy, Matsu, V. Jeffrey Smith, Akie Bermis, David Pilgrim, Sharief Hobley, Jerome Jordan and Shawn Banks who collectively became Phellatio Gonzalez. Then as a cherry on top was, Garrett Schider, Jr. who happened to be in town and in the house! He happily sat in with us! Whoa!

The night was a kind of round-robin type of evening and everyone was really amazing. All the fellas took a turn and then I chimed in with a couple of my tunes. Fun, fun! I was hoping to make that happen again in 2013, but clearly the year was packed. But stay tuned because Phellatio Gonzalez will ride again!

The men of Phellatio Gonzalez!

June
This month kicked off with me joining the Soulfolk Experience at Le Poisson Rouge for a Prince tribute on the 7th and since there is so rest for the wicked, the next night I hit with Burnt Sugar at Ginny’s uptown. We had lots of friends and fam in the house for that show. It was great to see Helga Davis, Daniel Carlton, Somi and Vernon who sat in with us that night.

Soon blaKbüshe was back in action as the musical guest for the African Voices 20th Anniversary at the Schomburg Center in Harlem. The event was also in honor of author/poet/professor Tony Medina. He was in the house along with Bonified Rojas, Willie Perdomo and Asha Bandele. I was also surprised to see Mike Ladd in the house, in from Paris. One of the highlights of this event was Willie mentioning The Tea Party. For those of you who know don’t know, before that name was taken over by the far right, it was an amazing arts organization in Brooklyn.

Post Schomburg show glow

The ladies and the gentleman of honor

I had to hurry home from that event to pack to hit the road with the Sugars the next day. We were heading to Cleveland to play for the Summer Solstice event at the Cleveland Museum of Art. Trevor, V. Jeff and I took the long journey with Ben and met the rest of the crew in Cleveland. I got to see my sands Shay while I was there and also my friend Katrice and her family, which was great. But the highlight for me was going to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame! [Blog: NYC to O-HI-O ]

Beam of vocal light in Cleveland at the Summer Solstice jam

Soon we were headed back to New York and I had to get ready for two more shows just a week later. The first was Burnt Sugar at Marcus Garvey Park for the Harlem Arts Festival. It was ok, but the person who went on before us went way over and there was no stage management so no one stopped her. It takes us a “minute” to set up so between the pervious set ending late and our set beginning late I think we only 20 minutes to play. For Burnt Sugar that’s about two songs. LOL! That show was on the 29th and then Pussypalooza was on the 30th. I have a lot to say about this show, but I’ll just let you read the blog. Well, I will say one thing. I was really excited about the show and then quickly disappointed. It was an amazing show. One of those nights where I was so angry before I went on that the show was EPIC! But it was also the show that made me take a break from doing any full band shows for the rest of the year. [Blog: Pride and Prejudice]

I love to make music. I love to play shows. I love it so much and I’m sure the artists out there can relate, but sometimes you have to pull back and take a look at how things are going. Regroup. Pause. That’s what I did after this gig and I’m glad I did.

This month I started my second to last fundraiser of the year. It was a silent auction, which brings us to July.

July
I kicked off the month with the Silent Auction fundraiser show, which featured Ganessa, Chaney Sims, Ashley Phillips and myself. We rocked out the Rockbar and helped me get that much closer to reaching my recording fundraising goal.

This month I also found that that I had been selected to be on the Sony Christmas compilation. I was so shocked! Although I had been contacted about possibly being on it I never had an attachment to it. So when I saw Jeff from Sony at the fundraiser and he told me he was going to make it happen, I don’t think really heard him. Soon there after I got the email! It was great news, but I needed to re-record the song. Jeff gave me two weeks to do it, but my Jeff (Jeudy) was going to be out of town for one of those two weeks! So I really had a week to do it, but we got it done. Matsu, Jeff and I recorded “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas,” with Lionel at his place one evening and the rest is on the CD!

Another highlight of the month was shooting the “Medusa/Asudem” video with Kelly Horrigan and Lee Free. That was so much fun! Kelly is an amazing designer and stylist and Lee is an awesome musician. Together they make a great team and I was honored to be the first artist to do a video for their Seen & Herd blog. Artsy videos! Yeah!

In my Medusa gear ready to shoot!

Finally I closed the month teaching yoga at Socrates Park in Long Island City. I was subbing for my friend Monique who was doing an art fellowship out of state for a few weeks. It was so wonderful to teach yoga in the park by the water. It was hot as hell those weeks, but since class was early and in the shade it wasn’t so bad. It’s kind of tricky to get to that park so I decided to bike from Brooklyn to Queens. In the morning, which was great, but by the afternoon it was literally hell on wheels! I think I damn near melted on the way home.

August
What was supposed to be one of the big highlights of the month was swiftly postponed and then cancelled. That was D’Angelo and Williamsburg Park. Something told me I should have went to go see him in Philly in July during the Roots Picnic weekend. I had seen him in March at Brooklyn Bowl with Questlove and it was off the chain! They did it again in July in Philly and I really wanted to go, but I didn’t. Then the show came up in NY. I was excited, but honestly something was nagging me. Then it happened, the show was postponed. It was supposed to happen on August 1st, but when it was postponed I wondered if I would be around for the rescheduled day. The original plan was to go to the show on the 1st, then home to MA for a couple of days, come back to BK and head to Festival for a week and then to my friend Shirley’s for a week. Well, it turned out that they cancelled the show and a bunch of others due to D being “ill.” Honestly when I heard that reason it scared me. Notice we haven’t heard a word from him since. There was all sorts of talk and speculation about what really happened to D, but let me tell you that I am still convinced that a brotha needs a hug…from me! Look out for Shelley’s Celebrity Hug Healing Program. Coming to a town where celebs live near you. I also need Kanye's number immediately! [SoundCloud: Quest & D'Angelo at BK Bowl]

At the Brooklyn bowl show Quest said something about D that has really stuck with me. When we were all clapping for an encore Quest said that we better keep clapping because he “gets love every day, but D needs to know that ya’ll really love him or you may not see him again till 2042.” We all laughed, but I totally got what he was saying. Although we were clapping and cheering for him to come back, the real deal is that D’Angelo needs to know deep within himself that he is loved. It makes me sad because the brotha is a genius and I don’t throw that word around at all, but he is truly gifted beyond measure. Sending much love to my brotha. Love and peace within.

August is always about Michfest and this year was no exception. This time I went to the festival as part of the ladies version of Hanifah Walidah’s band St. Lô, which included Hanifah, Julie Wolf and I. Of course you know there is a blog all about it. So if you missed the Michfest update, give it a read [Blog: Michfest 2013].

When I finally got home from Michigan I had to jump right into gear and get ready for Afropunk After Dark. I just did a broken down show with Jeff and Matsu at Putnam’s Pub in Brooklyn. We had shared the bill that night with Shae Rose and Adam Falcon. Thanks again to Trevor Gale at SESAC for inviting us out that night. If you haven’t read the Afropunk blog [Blog: Afropunk: Put Down the Hate] now is your chance.

Somewhere in the middle of all this I took a break and went to see Pete Rock vs. DJ Premier in one of the last Summerstage shows of the season. They were battling at East River Park by the FDR Drive. It was a serious trek to get over there, but worth all the trains, buses and footsteps that it took me. The place was packed and it was just an all out good time. They were spinning the music of my youth and clearly that of many others, but it wasn’t just a bunch of grown folks reminiscing, there were people of all ages there. People who really love hip-hop and respect the pioneers. We sang and danced together into to the night. It was probably one of the best days I had of the summer. There was so much love was in the air.

Closing out the month, the newly formed band Rebellum had our first photo shoot at the Village @ Gureje in BK. Thanks to photographer Nisha Sondhe, we took some great photos and set the group on its way. I know it might be a bit confusing because many of the members of Rebellum are also in Burnt Sugar, but trust me it’s a different band and a different sound.

Rebellum

September
This month saw the official release of the “Medusa/Asudem” video and the opening of the exhibit at Pratt Institute. Yeah! I can officially say I’ve been part of an art show! I know that doesn’t seem so huge, but stand by and see what happens next.

I also hosted my final blaKbüshe Wellness Day/Album Fundraiser. I’m sure I will do another wellness day because people really liked them, but that was my last fundraiser of the year. I want to thank Freebrook Spaces for allowing me to host my event there. I also want to thank Julie Brown and Dayanra Marte for coming to speak to us on the Fall Equinox. It was an amazing way to jump into the new season. I’m very thankful.

Rebellum closed the month for me. We had an album release show for our debut album The Darknuss at Joe’s Pub on the late night tip. Ronny Drayton sat in with us and Vernon Reid stopped by with his axe, fresh off the road. We a rockin’ good time that night. The fall kicked off lovely.

October
I took a big leap of faith in October and kicked off my yoga workshop/show in Philadelphia. The workshop and show were happening on a Saturday, but I arrived in Philly on Friday to do an interview on WRTI radio with M’Balia whom I was sharing the bill with.

M'Balia and I ready to Chill & Burn

When I got to the radio station I ran into artist Sherman Fleming who I had been on a Full Spectrum panel with in New York about a year or so ago. It was great to see him and hear about what he’s doing on Philly. We had a wonderful and fun interview that night with J. Michael Harrison host of The Bridge and I’m sure we’ll be back to WRTI in 2014.

Live at WRTI, Philadelphia, PA

The workshop on Saturday happened at Soft Illusions Fine Art Gallery and included a yoga class and an artist talk with Diane E. Vaughn, whose art was hanging in the gallery. We had a small turnout, but big energy so for me it was a huge success. It took a short break in between and then had to get ready for the show in the evening.

After my yoga workshop in Philly

MB’s (our nickname for M’baila) husband went to get Jeff from the train while we finished getting ready. My friend Damon had arrived earlier with the sound so that was good to go. Soon MB and I arrived at the gallery and the gang was all there. We set up the evening in a round robin style with MB and I going song for song, or maybe it was two songs and then two songs. We also sang our old Women of Bogolan anthem “What Can You Do For Me” by Labelle, which was appropriate being in Philly and all. All of the weekend’s events went so well that I, as well as MB and I, have been asked to do it again. Also MB and I were reminded of how much we love singing together so this year that will be happening again. I’ll keep you posted for sure!

The end of October was a busy one. Burnt Sugar played for three nights at the Apollo as part of the James Brown Dance Tribute by Philadanco (Philadelphia Dance Company) and right smack in the middle American Candy did our Silly Song Show at BAM. So I did the Tuesday and Saturday show at the Apollo and Friday night played BAM. That is really the way life should be all the time. All of those shows were really fun. We had a packed house in BAM on Friday night, which was amazing. It was the first time American Candy did those songs with a band, which was special. Nice way to close the month.

Note: I just found out at the end the year that Homecoming, an independent film directed by Eugene Ashe, came out in October. Why is this key? My song “blaK Girls” is featured in the film! So if you would like to check it out click the link here [Purchase Homecoming or Watch on Demand] to see how you can purchase or view the film. This is the first release from Seven Letter Word Films and is distributed on digital platforms and Video On Demand through RLJ Entertainment. Check it out!

November
November started off so great. I had two b’earthday hangs on the 6th with Po-Hong and on the 7th, and had the nerve to get a whole lotta tipsy at the former. I had dinner with my good friend Rha who I hadn’t seen in a LONG time on the 8th and then played at BRIC with Rebellum on the 9th, which was also a mini Wonder-ful (Stevie Wonder) party with DJ Spinna.

On the 14th the Sugars became the Sun Ra Arkestra for a staged reading of a play that’s in development about his trip through space and then on the 20th Rebellum shot our first video at Paris Blues in Harlem. Things were going really well and then I got the call.

On Friday the 22nd I was working in Harlem with Greg on his book. My plan was to go to his place, work for a while and then go to see my vocal coach Jeremiah, for a lesson, and then go to see Danni Gee at the Blue Note late night. Greg said he would come with me to the Blue Note so after my voice lesson I went to back to his place.

Shortly after I arrived back, my phone rang. It was my girl Saba telling me that she was planning to go home to see our friend and my cousin Kim who was batting cancer. It sounded urgent. She had a feeling she needed to go now. I asked her if she needed me to go with her. I really needed to see Kim myself anyway and she said if I could come she would want me to be there. So that’s what I did. Greg and I still went to see Danni and strangely enough before going into the Blue Note we ran into Ian Friday in the Village. We all chatted for a while and then Greg and I went into the club.

Danni gave a great show, but I couldn’t stay till the end. I knew I had to get up early to get on a train to Connecticut and I had to take the subway home that night.

The next day I took the Metro North to CT and then Saba, Michael, the twins and I drove to MA. No big announcements. I didn’t even tell my mother I was coming. We drove straight to Kim’s place. We called shortly before we arrived just to let someone know we were coming and to give Kim time to get ready if she needed, and that was it.

When we arrived my cousin May was with Kim and they were both surprised to see us. May stayed for a little while longer and then it was just Kim, Saba and I for a while. We had a great time! We laughed and joked. I gave Kim Reiki and let her hold my crystals. When I went upstairs to use my phone she joked with Saba about dying, which was crazy and hilarious! She also told Saba that when I was giving her Reiki she didn’t feel anything, which I also thought was hilarious. I can see Kim thinking, “This ain’t doing a damn thing!” LOL!

I talked to Julie, Kim’s sister for a while, then her other sister Priscilla showed up and we all laughed some more. JT, Kim’s brother in law, came by to visit somewhere during the day and then soon it was time for Saba and I to head back home. We couldn’t spend the night, but it was one of the best days. I could see Kim was in pain while we were there, but she was in good spirits. It was a blessing.

I ended up spending the night in CT with Saba since I was taking the train back to New York Sunday the morning. As Saba drove me to the train that morning we were just talking about the day we spent with Kim when I got a call from my cousin Donna who told me that Kim was found on the floor that morning and rushed to the hospital. As far as we knew she was still with us, but then about 20 minutes later Donna called back crying. Kim was gone.

By this time I was on the train and it was all I could do to contain my tears. I cried. I cried long and hard and I thought I wasn’t being loud, heard or seen, but the woman across the row from me sweetly checked in with me to make sure I was all right. Give thanks.

All of this happened the weekend before Thanksgiving. So I went back to NY for two days and then headed back to MA for the Thanksgiving holiday. Besides being Thanksgiving weekend, it was also the weekend of my high school reunion and now it was also the weekend of Kim’s funeral. It was a lot to take in and take on for sure, but I did it.

I have to say that Kim’s going home service was one of the best I have ever been to. Kim had cancer and knew that she was leaving us for a while. So she wrote out her funeral program and asked certain people to speak when she was still with us, which was a blessing for her sisters. I read Romans 8: 1-8, and I wasn’t sure why at first, but the first verse reads, "There is no condemnation to them who walk in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit." One of the first songs that the Fifth Sunday Singers (a group that Kim and I sang in together) learned was called “Walk Not After the Flesh.” Uh huh.  Oh Kim, even in death you are hilarious!

I miss her all the time. Sometimes something funny she said will pop into my mind and I’ll laugh. I can still hear her beautiful voice singing the house down. When she got sick I was honestly angry, but that’s another story. No matter what I always had hope. After her diagnosis she was here 10 short months, but she was beautiful and brave. I know she was scared, she told me so, but in the end I know she’s all right and as cliché as it sounds, she’s not in pain anymore. Give thanks.

Thanksgiving weekend, in honor of Kim, I went to my high school reunion. Kim asked me to take her in October, but she left before the event. It was a good time and I’m glad I went in her honor. Soon the weekend was over and it was back to Brooklyn and back to life.

Kim Nicholas (1970-2013)

December
Once again, in spite of everything, the top of the month was good. Sony released their R&B Christmas Hits compilation that I’m featured on, my Kirtan group Soul Sangha also released our album Sacred Geometry. Well actually it came out in November, but so much was going on that I didn’t get a chance to let folks know. Sadly you can’t get the holiday album anymore, but it will be back next season. In fact Sony is putting it out for the next 5 years! Holla! As for Sacred Geometry, you can pick up a hard or digital copy on CD Baby and of course on iTunes, Amazon, etc. [Purchase Spiritual Geometry].

I was barely back in New York after the holiday weekend, when I had to jump on a bus to DC to go to a Sacred Business Woman’s Retreat. Although it was called a retreat, it was far from relaxing. We had to do a lot of personal work, which is never easy and I was totally full of emotion from the previous week so it was hard. I had a great time though and I got to spend a little time with my cousin Kwabena and some great Ethiopian food when the retreat ended.

I was only home for three days when I got a call from my girl Yolanda in Atlanta. She sounded serious and told me that she heard that our friend Zook died. I immediately told her that was not true. Not because I knew it wasn’t true, but because she was calling me from Atlanta and I was in New York where he lived and I hadn’t heard from anyone here anything of the sort. So I told Yo that until I heard something from someone in the area then it wasn’t true. She laughed at me and said, OK! So I hung up the phone with her and called Zook. His phone went to voicemail, which didn’t immediately alarm me. Then I called Mechelle who lived with Zook and I got her voicemail too. So I waited.

Let me also tell you why I was not quick to rush to judgment. Besides being in total denial, my friend Greg been falsely reported dead just a week or two prior. How you ask? Well someone else named Greg Tate was killed in his neighborhood. How crazy is that?! When the word got out that Greg Tate had been killed the media, of which Greg has been a part of for about 30 years, started calling colleagues and asking for comments. Of course folks were confused and that’s when they started calling Greg who quickly informed them that, Goddess Bless, he was alive! So, with that so close I was not going to believe anything too quick.

I sat in my living room waiting for Mechelle to call back and praying for it not to be true when the phone rang. When I answered Mechelle was in tears and then I knew it was true. I wanted all the answers right then and there, but the particulars would have to wait. Zook had a heart attack and died the morning of the 12th. Craig Davis aka Zook was gone. I was nothing short of devastated. How could this be happening? Two people that I loved so much gone in a matter of weeks. With Kim the possibility of her passing was much easier to understand, yet still tragic, but Zook? I just don’t get it. There are things that I know about life and death. Things that I understand fundamentally, but it doesn’t mean I have to like it. So here it is that I was still mourning Kim and I had to start all over again. The pictures, the phone calls, the confusion, the shock and the sadness.

I called Yo back to tell her it was true; then the next person I called was Ian. He was devastated. Then Mechelle called me back and I knew I needed to call Larry, so I did. Soon my doorbell buzzed and it was Ian coming to check on me and also share in our shock and sadness. Then I called Fahiym and Brad and Hakhi and then I couldn’t make another call. My heart was broken. So Ian too up the mantle and called Dawn and Brian and Wil and Mert and Mia and Micah and Derrin and the fam was getting the word.

That week between Zook’s passing and his funeral was a long one, but it just reaffirmed something that I have been saying for a while now. All of this time we spend on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram is nice, but we need real face time with people. Real time to touch them and look at them in the face to see what is really going on. You can never know what’s really happening with someone in 140 characters or even in the novellas that some write on Facebook. We need to feel each other’s breath and look into eyes. That’s the only way to really know. I know that these mediums are great for keeping in touch with people far away, but how about trying to budget in a trip to see these folks? That’s what I’m doing this year. No more excuses. I need to see my people.

Losing Kim and Zook has reignited something in me. I wish they were still physically here, but I am clear that their essence is still here. Their spirits are still here. I feel them all the time. Sometimes I’ll start laughing for no reason and I know it’s one of them. They both had great laughs.

So we laid Zook to rest in the traditional way, but a couple days later, before I headed home for the holidays, I attuned one more student, my friend Peta-Gaye, to Reiki level I, which was wonderful. That same evening I also went to my voice teacher’s holiday party and then had one more intimate service for Zook and Pep (another friend who passed in 2006) on the Brooklyn Bridge with friends.

Craig Davis aka Zook (1968-2013)

I spent 5 days at home with the fam, which was right on time and then headed back to NY to get ready to go to Cleveland for New Years Eve with Burnt Sugar. This would be our second time in Cleveland at the Art Museum that year. I guess they like us.

I had one of the best New Years of my life. I never work on NYE and I can’t remember the last time I really went out and did the party thing, but this year it felt really good to be doing both.

I rang in 2013 on stage with a glass of champagne in my hand. I took a selfie with my girl Karma, toasted up with the museum muckity-mucks and it was all good in the hood. Snow was falling outside, but we were warm and some of us toasted on the inside. My friend Hank has his artwork up in the museum and I snuck another selfie before being busted by museum security. Oops! LOL! It was really a perfect evening.

Getting down in Cleveland town. 

The next day we took the long drive back to New York. I closed the year officially by writing my last Haiku of the year. In the end I wrote over 365 Haikus! I loved it so much that I kept going. By next year I’ll have over 700. It’s officially 2014 and it already feels good.

2014
Since the year jumped off I have had two interviews published. Sorry I didn’t shout them out right away, but a girl needed to take a real break. So here they are. One is with Kim Kirkley for her Good Energy Entrepreneur Show  and the other is with Abhita Austin for her Monday Motivation. Big love and thanks to both of these women for showing me so much love.

Thank you all for the continued love and support. Although blaKbüshe was very quiet toward the end of the year I promise you will see us soon. Here’s to an amazing 2014! May this New Year fulfill your Champagne wishes and caviar dreams!

Jai!
One Love!

Year of the Horse!